The Day We Said Our Final Goodbye to Natasha

Today the fifth of November - fireworks and fun for most people - will always be the anniversary of Natasha’s funeral.   

In the months following her death in July 2016  and the problems we faced with the coronial system and her autopsy, her funeral was a day we didn’t think we could ever face let alone get through.  It was a day we dreaded.  It was so final.  The truth that she was really gone was unbearable to us. It’s hard to comfort others even though you want to when your own heart is bursting with pain.  

The love of our family and friends got us through that day and our faith in God was our strength.  Tears flowed with no embarrassment, we were sharing each other’s pain.

We received hundreds of cards, each one sent with a message of loss and grief, telling us how their lives were so enriched by knowing our amazing girl, telling us how they would always remember her and letting us share their memories, many we hadn’t known; what a gift those were.

So many of Natasha’s friends were present and we were so grateful that they were there.  She loved every single one of them and had touched their lives in many exquisite ways. But it’s hard to see young people grieving.  It’s hard to see them trying to come to terms with having lost one of their own.  It goes against nature, everything they understand about life.  Death has no place in a young person’s heart and when death  strikes, it leaves them reeling.  How could this happen?

During the service, a dove, one from a family of doves that lives in a dovecot in the cemetery, flew up against the stained glass window and we could see its silhouette flapping as if it was trying to enter the chapel. Loss is so terrible, we see signs everywhere and we are so grateful for them.

We had arranged for drinks and food to be served after the service.  Natasha and her best friend Bethany had actually discussed what kind of funerals they would each like to have one day.  Bethany had told us with tears in her eyes that Natasha had said that she absolutely and definitely wanted sushi to be served, so sushi it was. 

When the day was over and we were home, the emptiness was as bad as the first few days following her death.  Some say that the process of having a funeral lets you ‘move on’. That wasn’t the case for us, a final goodbye was horrific, it’s something we didn’t want to do but had to. We were numb.   

This is a difficult post to share but if it helps allergies to be taken more seriously we will share these most painful moments in our lives again and again.  Death is the reality of what can happen to someone suffering from a food allergy.  It is so very real and so terrible and the world must wake up to the seriousness of this horrible disease.