Finding those important times to talk
With special events and celebrations like the Christmas holidays centred around food, it's sometimes good to stop in the busyness of it all and consider how your allergic child (whatever their age) might feel about it all.
When I did this, even if I thought everything was fine, I would occasionally get a reply from Natasha that I wasn't expecting - and we would then talk about her worries and concerns on subjects such as school or friendships and on occasion about her food allergies and asthma. Why did she have them? Would there be a cure for her one day? Would she always be allergic? We would talk at length, and end with a hug and I was so glad that I had asked.
As Natasha got older, she hated the exclusion her allergies sometimes gave her. She had to say, 'No thank you.' politely even though she might be hungry. She had to say 'Sorry, I can't come to your birthday party because the restaurant you've chosen doesn't serve any food I can eat.' She often had to take a Tupperware of food out of her bag and eat a different meal to everybody else. If we were with friends, she may be able to eat the main meal but would be apologetically told that the desert that everyone was tucking into was unsafe for her and she would smile and say, 'It's fine, honestly, it's not a problem.' She often meant it, but it added up. It got heavier, it was a weight she carried on her shoulders every single day. Her allergies often excluded her at a time in her life when all she wanted, was to be included.
By talking it out, her release from stress was palpable. I would listen as she sometimes got tearful and resentful of her allergies and then as we continued to talk, the subject would change and we would discuss other things, usually ending up in fits of laughter over a funny story.
The most important part of this message is to find the time to ask, to talk and never when you're in a rush. It is so important for children, teens and young adults to have a release from their allergy worries.
Love, Tanya x