Dear, Non-Allergic Friends...

My food allergies are a big deal for me, they affect so many areas of my life whether I like it or not because just one small mistake can hospitalise me...or worse.

I know you never intend to upset me, but when you or others joke about my allergies or imply they're all in my mind, I try to hide how bad it makes me feel. Being asked questions that suggest I'm making them up such as, “How allergic are you really?” or “Are you just a fussy eater?” hurts.

Meeting and making new friends can be tough as I have to keep explaining my allergies. Uninformed comments and assumptions can make it difficult to feel believed. My everyday choices are more limited than yours, my allergies take centre stage though you may not realise it. I have to work hard not to let them define me, I also have to try hard not to be limited by them.

Please feel free to ask me about them, I'd love to tell you, to explain.

If you're unsure what to ask, I have reframed a few negative comments I sometimes hear, and turned them around:

"Will you die if you eat some of this food?" Ask instead,

“What are the symptoms if you have an allergic reaction?”

"Go on, try it, it's delicious and a little bit won't hurt." Ask instead,

"How much of your food allergen can trigger an allergic reaction?"

"Are you sure you're not exaggerating how serious your allergies are?" Ask instead,

"Can you tell me what your symptoms are and what I can do to help if you have an allergic reaction?"

Share this with your friends, it may help them understand just a little how small tweaks in attitudes and understanding can change something that feels negative into something much more hopeful.

Starting an honest conversation is sometimes hard but a conversation goes both ways so it is a great place to start.