There is No Shame in Allergy Grief.
Natasha’s early 'allergy symptoms’ were a journey of allergic discovery; chronic eczema from 12 weeks, anaphylaxis at 6 months, then again at 9 months and asthma from 12 months old.
Once we were given a formal allergy diagnosis, I remember the sense of relief in the sense that now she had a known medical condition, we could start looking at how to help her. But there seemed little that could be done, other than prescriptions for medications such as EpiPens, and this realisation sat heavily on my heart. I understand now that this heaviness was grief, too painful to face fully in the weeks and months that followed.
It morphed and had a way of surfacing in those moments when I felt particularly tired, vulnerable, anxious, stressed, having narrowly missed an allergic incident or having recently battled one. Sometimes it reared its head due to a trigger and at other times for no obvious reason at all. In those early years I remember feeling guilty for what I felt were these feelings of weakness - because they weren't an option for me. I had to stay alert, Natasha's safety was my priority at all times.
Grief isn't just tied to the loss of loved ones; it can emerge when our reality falls short of our dreams for ourselves or those we love - and a food allergy diagnosis can do just this.
Realising constant vigilance is your new norm can feel isolating, overwhelming and scary. But on the flip side of this grief, an allergy diagnosis can bring much-needed validation and medical support, which is so important.
If allergy grief is real to you...
🌱 Be honest with yourself and remember that it's okay to ask for support.
💬 High and complicated emotions can often feel very jumbled up and overwhelming - sharing can help untangle them.
🤝 Think about how that help might look for you - practical, emotional? Therapists can be an option to provide guidance in overwhelming times.
Asking for help requires courage, but those who truly care for you will want to support you in any way they can. 💙
Do these feelings resonate? Have you experienced 'allergy diagnosis grief'?
