It shouldn’t be this hard…the allergy journey shouldn't be so lonely.

When my son Ash was first diagnosed with multiple food allergies, I didn’t quite understand the impact they would have on our lives which changed overnight. I was left alone to work it all out, left alone to educate myself on allergies, left alone to work out why suddenly my heart would suddenly beat so fast and I didn’t know what these scary feelings were. At times I used to feel like I was going crazy, there were days when I didn't want to get out of bed and face the day.

The allergy journey has been especially tough coming from a South Asian background. Many topics and long-term chronic illnesses are perceived as taboo subjects and allergies are one of them; whether this is due to a lack of allergy education or the failure to accept that allergies are real, I’m not sure.

In the first few years of our allergy life, I really struggled with the social labels that were being placed on me, never my husband, but always me because I was the one who carried Ash for 9 months and I was the one who gave birth to him and therefore his allergies were my fault.

I remember one particular family function when my nephew was born. My family celebrated his “Lohri”, a Punjabi tradition where the birth of the boy is celebrated with the wider family and friends. Foods containing nuts, sesame, dairy and wheat are common ingredients eaten. At the time, my family still didn’t fully understand the severity of Ash’s allergies and then having to explain his allergies to the wider family was just like banging my head against a brick wall.

For these reasons, I left Ash at home with my husband and I went to the function alone, carrying the mum guilt, feeling so alone but showing up for my family to meet their expectations. It was the last time I saw my Gran because she passed away not long after - by not taking Ash and my husband with me that day added hugely to my guilt.

This is the impact of food allergies that people without them don’t realise.

The next day I really reflected and asked myself how many more family functions am I going to refuse or not take Ash along to because of his food allergies.

It shouldn’t be this hard.

Life with food allergies shouldn’t be this hard, the allergy journey shouldn’t be so lonely.

I love supporting Natasha’s Foundation, they are the ones who inspire me to stand up and voice my truth. They are the voice of people living with food allergies. - Jatinder @‌ashfriendly