“…I Found Myself in a Very Cold and Lonely Place” - One Mother’s Experience
When food allergies first entered our lives, I found myself thrown into a new world - a world I wasn’t equipped to be in but one I had to learn to navigate around quickly for my child to survive. Though many others acted as though this dangerous place was an exaggerated figment of my imagination, the raw memory of holding my baby close to death, would wake me in the night in terror to remind me of how very real this new world was.
Both my boys have been diagnosed with food allergies. The loneliness and isolation I felt from becoming an allergy parent were all-consuming. Allergy parents live with completely rational fears but are often treated as though they are neurotic, irrational, helicopter parents. The ones closest to me; who’ve always been there to share life’s problems with, quickly became the ones that made me feel the most alone which really hurt. My resentment grew rapidly with every “I’m sure he's grown out of it…” or “It’s probably just a cold...” and “he will be okay once his immune system gets stronger!” My heart ached for them to understand the truth behind what it means to have serious food allergies. Relationships started breaking down just when I needed them most.
But it’s not really their fault - how could they understand? The doctors, the teachers; the professionals, the people you can usually turn to when you are fearful for your child’s wellbeing, were also putting my child’s life at risk. I didn’t feel confident anymore in a world where trusted professionals with knowledge and expertise would keep my baby alive.
Allergy knowledge, training, hope for a cure and awareness just didn’t exist. I was his only hope and this realisation terrified me.
Friends, family, strangers and professionals were all making me question my sanity and I found myself in a very cold and lonely place. The only time I was not on edge and truly happy, was when I was locked away at home with my boys and my husband, hidden from the dangers of the world.
I found every excuse I could, not to leave the house. I didn’t want to see my friends or family and I even tried to fool myself into believing my excuses so that I didn’t have to admit that the carefree, confident ‘me’ was gone.
Life changed for me when I found ‘Natasha’s Foundation’ and a whole community of parents screaming like me for allergy awareness. I was in awe of their strength through experiences and learned that food allergies were sadly far more common than the world had me believe. I was no longer focused on the negatives, but my eyes were opened to the many compassionate and empathetic ‘non-allergy parents’ who were to my surprise and gratitude, supportive and understanding through raised allergy awareness and information.
Though every single allergy story and experience told was different, all the allergy parents in this community had one thing in common; we understood the fear, the loneliness, and the exhaustion of the continuous battling needed to keep our children alive. I was no longer alone, weak and tired. I now found myself belonging to a group of the strongest, most inspiring people I’d ever met. Every story I read was an experience I shared in my heart, and the insight this gave me was learning that I wasn’t alone, weak and neurotic.
Other allergy parents began to thank me for sharing our story and this helped me feel less isolated. This wonderful community, led by ‘Natasha’s Foundation has given me the strength to not hide from the world anymore. It has given me a fire in my belly to fight for a safer world not just for my babies, but for thousands of others just like them; to make the world kinder and more understanding; to cure the ignorant with knowledge and information.
I’ve never in my life felt such passion and purpose as I do now. Having a strong community of parents I can reach out to, and raising awareness together has not only saved my sons, but it has also saved me too.
Thank you Billie from @butterfieldgreenhouse for sharing your personal allergy story with us.