Bethany Shares Her Experience of Losing Her Best Friend Natasha
Bethany Holloway, was Natasha Ednan-Laperouse’s best friend from childhood. She was on the plane with Natasha and Natasha’s father on the day that Natasha died from a severe allergic reaction. Bethany was just 14 years old at the time.
Now 20 years old, and representing Natasha’s Foundation as an Ambassador, Bethany recently spoke at a conference with Natasha’s parents, Nadim and Tanya. Here, we share her brave speech from that day.
“I first met Natasha – or Tashi, as I called her – in the playground at school when we were eight years old, and I just knew we were going to be best friends. She had this big grin on her smiley face, and we soon became inseparable. As we progressed through primary and secondary school, we became closer and closer. We even had our own secret language, so we could pass notes to each other in class that nobody else could understand.
I was always aware that Tashi had food allergies. In primary school, we were warned at school not to eat anything that she was allergic to near her because of cross-contact. She was very mature about her allergies and always carried antihistamines and two EpiPens wherever she went.
We used to make plans about what we would do in the future when we were grown-up. We had ideas of running a nursery together, we said we had to have children at similar times and make them best friends and we always said when we are old ladies and our future husbands pass, we will go to the same old peoples home together. The common thread was that we would always be together – nothing would ever separate us.
I imagine that had she lived when the time came for us to choose our university options, we would have tried to at least be in relatively close proximity to each other if we could not study at the same university. When I was in catered halls here, I remember asking my new friends in freshers week if they had any allergies.
I can imagine leaving home and attending university would have been much more stressful for Natasha because of her allergies than for others. Not having the support in place that was part and parcel of living at home with her family since she could remember would have been a really big deal. I remember a school trip to the Isle of Wight in our last year of primary school. Tanya, Natasha’s mum had contacted the hotel and caterers where we would be staying to discuss her allergies, and they promised that Natasha would be safe. However, on the day we arrived, tired and hungry after a whole day of travelling they had somehow forgotten all about her. While the rest of us tucked into a dinner of hot food, Natasha was given two slices of frozen bread. She was mortified. It was not just that she went to bed hungry that night, but she had been hugely embarrassed by this incident because it made her stand out so acutely as an allergic child, someone to feel sorry for.
To celebrate my 15th Birthday, she asked her parents if we could go on holiday together to France where she and her family spent their summer holidays every year. It was a place she loved, and she wanted to share all the happy memories she had made there with me. I jumped at the chance, and it was decided, we were going to France for 4 days and her dad, Nadim would be our chaperone! Tashi was really excited and planned a complete itinerary for the 4 days we would be there. We’d never been abroad together; we went shopping for holiday clothes and planned out every minute of that 4-day break – little did we ever imagine it would end in such tragedy.
On that day, we arrived at the airport, and stopped at a Pret a Manger before boarding to get some food. Tashi found a baguette that listed all her safe foods, she was careful to check the ingredients listed and her dad and I had looked at the label too - the ingredients list looked safe, it didn’t list sesame seeds – an ingredient she was severely allergic to.
We boarded the plane and shortly after take-off Tashi started feeling unwell. She took some antihistamine, but I didn’t worry too much at this point. 20 minutes later she was complaining that she was suddenly finding it difficult to breathe and I saw a red rash on her lower back, which was spreading rapidly across her body.
Nadim hurriedly spoke to an air steward and took Tashi to the toilet at the front of the plane to inject her EpiPen. I thought poor Tashi, it’s not nice to have to be injected with an EpiPen, but at least we know it will work and she will be okay in a few minutes. I got out her phone to set her up her favourite playlist (Justin Bieber) so when she came back to her seat she could just relax and listen to her music. Little did I know, she would not come back.
Moments later, Nadim rushed back from the front of the plane looking for Tashi’s second EpiPen. I didn’t realise at the time, but she was going into anaphylactic shock. A few minutes later, air stewards calmly made an announcement asking for any doctors on-board to come forward as a passenger ‘felt unwell’. At this point I got out of my seat to find them. Tashi was slumped in a fold out chair at the front of the plane with an oxygen mask, looking quite pale, disoriented and struggling to breathe. I felt sick with panic when I saw her. After that, everything happened so quickly. Tashi fell unconscious and started vomiting. A man rushed down the aisle as they laid Tashi on the floor for him to perform CPR. Seeing my best friend’s limp body, I burst into tears. There wasn’t enough space for me to be next to her as air stewards were continuing to serve drinks and they stepped over her body to get the coffee for passengers. I couldn’t believe what was going on.
In my mind, I pictured us telling our school friends this dramatic story of Tashi’s near death experience on our holiday to France. But I didn’t believe in a single moment that that she, my 15-year-old best friend could die. When we landed, paramedics came on-board and continued CPR and then rushed Tashi to hospital. Nadim and I followed in another vehicle, and he tried to reassure me, everything would be OK, but we were both terrified. At the hospital, Nadim spoke to a doctor while I sat in the waiting room just staring at the white walls for hours and waiting for the news, but I still believed she would be okay. Nadim came back into the room – he told me Tashi had extreme brain damage and there was only a minimal chance she would survive; his face was deathly pale.
I was devastated, but I still couldn’t believe that it was the end, I was praying for a miracle - at that age you just don’t think that your best friend can die. I called my mum, but I was so traumatised I barely remember the conversation. Five hours later, we were finally allowed to see Tashi. She was in a small room, linked up to all sorts of machines, including breathing apparatus. I sat next to her and gently held her hand, I spoke to her and played her music on her phone which I laid on the pillow by her ear. Suddenly it hit me - she may not survive. Minutes later, a doctor confirmed my worst fears – He said, Tashi wasn’t going to make it. I was numb and completely heartbroken all at once. There wasn’t much time left before her heart flatlined, so Nadim phoned Tashi’s mum Tanya, her brother and then her grandparents, he put the phone to Tashi’s ear, and they said their final goodbyes.
When it was my turn, I could barely contain my sobs as I told her how much I loved her. At 8.02pm French time, around 12 hours after we had boarded the plane, Tashi was pronounced dead. Leaving the hospital without her was the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. As I walked away, away from the room where she still lay, I looked back at her in her bed, and it dawned on me that this was the last time I would ever see her face.
They gave me a lock of her hair to keep. During the night, Tashi’s mum Tanya arrived and the following day I flew back home. Hugging my mum at the airport, I broke down. I went through states of shock, grief and depression in the years that followed, I lost my teen years that day, on the 17th of July 2016.
When I went back to school for the new term that September, I felt so alone. Everything reminded me of Tashi, and the grief was unbearable. It wasn’t until two years later in September 2018 that the official inquest into Tashi’s death concluded she had died from an allergic reaction to sesame seeds that had not been listed on the ingredients label of the baguette she had eaten. That Tashi had died because of such an oversight, made me so angry.
I’ve since been to grief counselling, but I will never have another friend quite like Tashi – I think about her every day and each year on the anniversary I visit the crematorium garden to be close to her.
Together with her family, I’ve campaigned for stricter food labelling, which has resulted in Natasha’s Law, new legislation that requires foods that are pre-packed directly for sale to carry a full list of ingredients, with allergens in bold. If this had been in place in 2016, Tashi would be here now. I myself have received Natasha’s Law training when I worked in hospitality in recent years, and it was great to see it used as an example to teach people how to handle food allergens in kitchens safely, respect their allergic customers and label food accurately.
I know Tashi would be so proud of all the work we’ve done since her death, and it will undoubtedly save lives. I just wish we’d been able to save hers. I wish more could be done to help people with allergies. They are so misunderstood and not taken nearly seriously by society in general. But I believe Tashi’s death is a catalyst to change this – her legacy will save countless lives; her legacy will give others a safer future.
I truly believe that she and her family have made a massive difference and I ask you all to do everything you can, to help do the same.”
Natasha’s Law came into effect in October 2021, but there is still so much work to be done to ensure people with food allergies can be safe. We desperately need an Allergy Tsar - a role within Government to champion the needs of the allergic community. Please sign and share the petition today.
